Awkward

Idea Bank #48: My worst blind date story…

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Yeah…this one is a doozie.

Background story: Up until I was 24, no guy (or girl, which is good since I’m straight) had ever asked me out. In fact, the first guy to ask me out on a date is my current boyfriend and it took him a good 8 months to ask me out! I have no idea why guys didn’t ask me. BF says I’m gorgeous. I say I’m a solid cute. The one guy who I legitimately asked out said that he simply didn’t find me attractive, which at least is honest. In middle school I’m pretty sure I heard a guy say that I was a “butter face” as in “her body’s hot, but her face isn’t”.

In high school and in college my closest girl friends all said that they were going to set me up on blind dates, but as I pressed for them to throw some guy my way (I was and probably am very shy in this department) they said that they were waiting until they found “Mr. Perfect” for me. I told them that I didn’t care if he was chopped liver, I wanted a date! They never came through for me, which is okay because I know that they were serious about only setting me up with the best even though all I wanted was practice.

You’re probably wondering how I can have a blind date story when none of my friends have set me up on a blind date. Well, it took me a few years, but eventually I realized that I had indeed set myself up on my own blind date my first year of college.

It was my first semester and I was taking Statistics (Intro to) for the first time because I thought I might want to go to business school. Turns out that Statistics is definitely not my thing. I was working my butt off trying to figure out the content and getting horrible grades for my trouble. Early in the semester I found myself chatting with the random guy who sat in front of me (we didn’t have assigned seats, but most of us got into the habit of having a certain spot). I’d often ask him to explain stuff before class and I thought we could be pretty good study partners so I asked him if we could get together to go over the content before one of our tests. He said sure and while deciding where to meet, he was insistent that he take me to a restaurant. While I didn’t really want to spend the money on lunch while I had a meal plan and/or there were plenty of library spots we could use, I agreed.

Well, lunch was lovely. It was my first trip to a real Japanese restaurant, though I was encouraged to eat the teriyaki salmon since I wasn’t sure what I’d like. I wanted to get straight to the books, but he said to wait until after we ate. Okay…fine, I thought (I hated this subject, but I was impatient to get the actual studying out of the way so that I could go back to my dorm room and do more enjoyable things, like watch TV). We did finally open the textbook and talked about the subject for about 20 minutes when I realized that he was not doing a very good job at explaining the subject to me and I started to lie about it totally making sense. We left the restaurant shortly thereafter with me insisting on paying my share.

I was kind of mad at him for the rest of the semester for how unbelievably unhelpful and awkward that lunch ended up being. All I wanted to do was study and he’d thought it a social outing. I kind of avoided him from thereon in–not so much as moving seats or not talking to him, but more like keeping all interactions to the bare minimum.

Like I said, it took me a few years to realize that this counted as a date because it’s obvious that he thought I was asking him out! No, there was no attraction felt on my end–I really did just want someone to explain Statistics to me! I think I went on the ultimate blind date: I was the one who set it up and had no idea that it was a date!

For the record, I’ve been on a total of 3 dates in my pre-BF life: that one, one where I asked out a friend under the guise of it being a group trip to the movies where no one agreed to come (I’d only asked him, though a couple of girl friends knew about it–we ended the night still as friends), and when I told a guy I met via OKCupid that I wanted to meet in person (he’s the one who didn’t think me attractive). I’d also had a total of 2 chaste kisses–both from the 4th of July 2010 when my summer camp coworkers decided to play a silly drinking game (for lack of a better name) where you pass a card from person to person via suction and if it drops you have to kiss the one you dropped it with. My kisses were with the guy who’d kiss anyone/anything and the other the hot fitness counselor–woot woot on that second one. Both British, of course, haha.

The only problem with those kisses was that I’d mentioned to my coworkers that that was my first kisses and one or two of them decided to tell their 13 year old campers all about it. For whatever reason, even though I refused to talk about it with them, these girls thought this was epic because suddenly I had a fan club of like 10 of them. My campers were 11! These weren’t my girls! And yet for the rest of the summer they’d come to the ropes course (my activity), or during dinner, or whenever I was somewhere they were, and get all excited to see me. It was weird! I laugh though–they were good girls. 2 actually friended me on facebook, though I haven’t talked to them since that summer (I only worked the one summer).

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